Blog: Winning through communication – Part 1

There is a folklore from India where a wiseman set out on a long pilgrimage with his wife. On the way, they were blessed with 12 children and upon each delivery, the man enquired whether the baby had a mouth. If the wife said “yes”, he would say, “God will take care of the one with mouth” and would ask the wife to abandon the baby then and there and proceed. Eleven children were deserted, since they had a mouth. The tale goes that after the 12th birth, when the husband asked whether the child had a mouth, the wife said he didn’t have a mouth in the hope that she may get to raise at least that child. It goes on to say that when she looked at the child after saying that, the child indeed was seen to have been born without a mouth.

We might not agree with the approach or callousness of the wiseman, but let’s choose to put that aside for a moment and think of something else. What do you think is the reason why he said what he said? He just meant that if you have a mouth, you have the capacity to communicate and if you can communicate you can earn your living. It is that powerful an impact communication has!

The story is from a time when communication was possible only through spoken word. Now we have multiple ways to communicate and yet we choose not to

Through this three-part blog series, we hope to take you through different aspects of communication which form key elements in improving your workplace dynamics. You need effective communication to ensure collaboration and cooperation.

Jim Rohn so rightly says: ‘If you just communicate, you can get by. But if you communicate skilfully, you can work miracles.’ The most important thing is communicating and a step better is to do it right. The art of communicating comes naturally to some people and it is incredibly difficult for some others.

In this first blog of the series, we will see what prevents us from communicating and why it is important that we communicate.

One may think that to communicate is such a simple thing, but then why do many of us fail at it so miserably? What is that which prevents us from communicating?

You would be surprised to find that they spring from some very deeply ingrained beliefs one has about themselves and others

Fear of ridicule stemming from a feeling of insufficiency – If there is one thing all of us would like to avoid, it is being mocked at. We feel that we are not as good at something like someone else we know and being lower makes us an easy target of ridicule. The first and easiest way to prevent that from happening is to not interact at all. To not interact is not to communicate. An appropriate analogy would be like someone not treating a serious disease out of fear for the perceived side effects of a medicine. A core necessity which could make life much easier is given a miss because a misconception that everyone would mock you. The fact is people are busy thinking for and about themselves to really dissect your communication and mock you.
People can’t read minds and you have to spell out things – We don’t very often ask, we assume. We assume people would know what we are thinking. One of the biggest challenges to communicate stems from this belief that people would ‘know’. May that be your workplace, your family, friends or colleagues, no one can exactly know what you are thinking. Maybe they can make a guess but definitely not know what you think, what you need, what would offend you or hurt you, what would make you happy etc. When you spell it out, it becomes easier for you and easier for others as well; even if it is stating the obvious sometimes!
The world is not out to get you or crucify you if you speak – The present world goes by the principle of ‘trust no one until they prove themselves trustworthy’. With this fear that people would cheat you and the world is waiting to get one up on you, the easiest way out is to interact as little as possible. This makes people withdraw into their shells to have a sense of safety. The fact however is that, People are just as good as you are to them. When you don’t trust, you are not trusted. You can break the chain only by displaying at least a basic level of pragmatic trust on fellow beings. You learn and grow more with increased communication
Being perceived weak for displaying vulnerability or admitting to mistakes – Communication is not limited to impersonal or transactional content always. There are situations where we have to display some of our not so pleasant feelings like anger, hurt, sadness, remorse or shame. We feel we would be perceived weak for communicating our vulnerabilities. Perhaps there are times where we might be. But then, the other option of bottling up genuine emotions can cause severe psychological trauma. Sometimes when we express what we feel, you might attract others to come out with their feelings and thoughts as well out of a feeling of kinship they resonate. This of course forms the central idea of communication.
Poor language skills – Communication is often equated with an expertise in language. It is much more than that. Language is just one of the components of communication. It can happen even without a perfect grip on grammar and without an extensive vocabulary. Communication happened even before languages were invented and we are descendants of those cavemen who organized extensive hunting trips or cultivated grains without the aid of a language. The relevance of language and the perfect usage of one is overrated. Also, this is a skill we can master if we put our minds to it. The advantage would be that with better language we would not just communicate, but we would do it more skilfully!

Why is it imperative that you communicate and what are its benefits?

While the importance of good communication is huge in all aspects of your life, in a workplace environment it has a crucial impact. Some of them being:

Improves employee engagement, collaboration and productivity – With effective communication better employee engagement is ensured. People tend to communicate better when they are communicated to better. The collaboration they have with the peers and superiors increase qualitatively having a favorable impact on the productivity
Reduces employee attrition and buys their loyalty – A feeling of being heard and acknowledged is as important for an employee as material compensations. It’s a deeply entrenched psychological need. When that happens, the employees tend to be more loyal and prefers to stay back in an organization
Increases morale, motivation and confidence of employees – With encouraging words and communication happening consistently through various channels, the employee has a sense of involvement and belonging in the organization. A sense of security springing from the feeling of being an important link in the growth trajectory of the organization is important for them to stay motivated. They invest themselves better in an atmosphere of open communication
Fewer conflict situations to deal with – Workplace conflicts between leader and subordinate or between peer groups is often the result of not malicious intent, but poor communication or worse still, lack of communication. Well thought out, timely, sensitive and rightly worded communication can foster a sense of camaraderie.

If you are looking for any mentoring for your team in improving their communication skills or if you are looking at equipping yourselves better as a communicator do write to us at harish@harishrao.world to know how we can help you with it. We understand the difference good communication focused mentoring can make on a person’s productivity. We would love to work with you on this or any other business coaching needs you may have!