Blog: Six values for life and workplace – Compassion
“We treat ourselves, our colleagues, our customers, our suppliers, our stakeholders and our shareholders with sympathy and empathy. We show, not only at ourselves, but also at the world and treat everything and everybody in the world, with care and kindness.”
The Dalai Lama says, “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. “
This is one of the very few virtues, the consistent practice of which, can bring both short term and long-term joy into your life. It’s not hard to notice that the moment you engage in a compassionate deed there is a sense of indescribable joy. The more you inculcate the habit into your daily life you are turning the key into a treasure trove of perpetual joy.
In a corporate environment, exhibiting emotions like compassion, empathy and kindness has for a long time had a negative tag and the perception of being an unwelcome disadvantage to bring in. Being empathetic was perceived as going ‘soft’ on people. The line of thought was that not being strict or ruthless will impede the possibility of getting work done. To get work done one has to push hard and heartlessly was the belief.
Fortunately, over the last few years deeper dives are being done by change makers in responsible positions. Their goal is to create more secure and safe work environments for people, the negative connotations attached to the ‘softer’ emotions are on the ebb.
How can one be compassionate?
Regular self-talk and affirmation – Unfortunately for humans it is way easier to pick up a bad habit and do what feels good than do what is right or start a good habit. Hence to pick up a good habit constant and consistent training becomes essential. Realizing this, as a ritual every morning I tell myself these, “I am lucky to be alive and I am grateful for that. I am going to give it my all, to operate from my highest self, where I look at everyone I interact with, as a reflection of myself. I am going to deal with everyone with an open heart and without malice or agenda.” Try doing this and see the difference it brings in!
Putting yourself in someone else’s shoes – A misfortune that has befallen a friend or a colleague could have very well been yours. Very often many unfortunate incidents that happen in life are just about being in the wrong place at the wrong time. When one thinks of such a possibility, it is much easier to put yourself in their shoes and understand and empathize with the pain they are undergoing. When you empathize with others you are automatically kind to them and show your sacrificing side to them rather than the selfish side. When you feel lucky not to be where they are it is easier to be kinder. When you have lost less, got less hurt and undergone lesser pain, it would come naturally to share the bounty of your kindness, happiness and even wealth. A small act of kindness or even a smile when received at the appropriate time can cause indescribable alleviation to the suffering of a person. Compassion is showing that you care and you are there for someone else. Choosing to exercise your availability or not is their prerogative. Being available and compassionate is your way to express gratitude.
Realizing that we have more in common with people than not– Some of us like to be more social than others. Being social or not, whether you like the company of other people or not, it doesn’t take away the fact that we have a lot in common with the people around us. While we are very different people superficially, at the most basic emotional plane we are very similar. Most of us crave appreciation, joy, health, love, good companionship and dislike conflict, pain, disease and not being respected for what we are. From this perspective we are all parts of the same seed that splintered and grew into many trees. If this thought doesn’t evoke compassion towards your fellow beings what else can?
Being compassionate to people who are not good to us. This is the most difficult of all to practice. Reciprocating a particular behavior comes naturally to humans as it does to a dog or a monkey. If someone is mean to you, your natural instinct is to be mean back at them. But then what differentiates you from a monkey or a dog is our power to exercise discretion. The great Viktor Frankl wrote in his outstanding book ‘Man’s search for meaning’ – “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” We have the choice to be the bigger person and break the chain of unkindness, vengefulness and resentment. We have the choice to separate the person from the behavior. We can condemn the behavior and treat the person who behaved bad with compassion. All of us act from a place of awareness possessed at that point. So, giving that concession and not holding ill will makes it easier for you than anyone else.
Soft skills are important for you in both personal and professional life. They are an important component in your success and how far you would go in life. This is equally applicable for your team of employees as well. If you are looking for any soft skill coaching or mentoring for your team or for yourself do write to us at harish@harishrao.world to know how we can help you with it. We understand the difference the right mentoring and training can make to a person’s productivity. We would love to work with you on this or any other business coaching needs you may have!