Blog: Looking back and looking forward
As the year draws to a close, like always, I am looking back at the past year to see and assess how it went by and what I can change and make better in the coming year.
When I do that, it boils down to two questions that I am faced with.
1. What do I want from the rest of my life?
2. What shall I give or do henceforth to make the world a better place to live for everyone?
I know that my 2023 will be spent looking at these questions deeply and refocusing when required if I ever lose focus on them. They say changing the world starts with changing oneself. I guess that is the simple answer for my two questions. If my wish is to make the world a better place, the best place to start is with me. That is what I would like to do with the rest of my life. I have dwelled on this for a while and if I want to distil the wisdom on the ‘how’ of it all, it could be these thoughts that showed me a path. Read on for some tips!
1. “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way” – I choose to approach anything with the most appropriate positive and objective attitude with kindness in my heart. Our attitude is the only thing we have control in our lives – circumstances, wealth, power, health, people, world, economy, weather, relationships are all in a constant state of flux. What is in our hands is only our willpower to stick by the right attitude.
2. “Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile” – There are times when we all feel tired of the responsibilities that life comes with. We get these doubts like ‘why me?’ ‘Why do I have to do this for everyone?’ ‘Why is no one else taking responsibility?’ Then for a moment think of not having any responsibility in your life towards anyone. That is when you realize how purposeless and anchorless life has become. The sense of purpose and fulfillment in life lies in a life lived for not just oneself but has many others in it. The charm of a hedonistic life fades away leaving you empty very soon.
3. “Let go of ego’s need to be right” – When the choice is between being right and being happy, always choose happiness. You could be right or wrong. Great if you are right. You know that and it is good enough. You don’t have to prove it to the world and make it a persistent unhappy exercise forever proving your being right. If you are wrong, that’s alright too. It is an opportunity to learn and change. There is nothing to feel bad, insecure or low about. In fact, you need to be grateful for the opportunity to learn. Nothing stagnates your mind and growth like lack of challenges and always being right.
4. “It’s not the Destination, It’s the journey!” – When you single-mindedly focus on the destination rather than on the journey, then you miss out on all the little joys you encounter on the way. Spend time enjoying the naughtiness and questions of your child while growing up, the small and big learnings and progress in your career, playing with your dog and stopping to smell the roses. It might sound cliche but it is a fact. Before you know it, the child would grow up not wanting your presence, you would be retired from your job, the dog would not live long and the roses wither. All this while you wait for your destination and life to happen. Life is a cumulation of little moments in the journey.
5. “Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.” – The loftiest and most fulfilling way to glide by in life is to approach it without any expectations. While it may sound really hard to achieve, even a little effort in that direction makes life extremely peaceful. It is just about doing your best even if it is a presentation you are making for the board or in bettering your relationship with your spouse or family. What is in your hands is to make a spectacular effort with the resources you have. How it turns out eventually is not something you have control on. Acceptance of that fact makes for a liberated life.
6. “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less” – Humility is often misunderstood for a lack of self-worth. The fact is diametrically opposite. It is only the very confident, self-assured person who values themselves well can be humble. They don’t believe it is what they own or what they achieved that makes them worthy. They value character and integrity which is the root of their humility. They are not obsessed about themselves. Humble people put others ahead of themselves.
7. “Let go of certainty. The opposite isn’t uncertainty. It’s openness, curiosity and a willingness to embrace paradox, rather than choose sides. The ultimate challenge is to accept ourselves exactly as we are, but never stop trying to learn and grow.” – Creativity blooms only when we let go of the need to be certain. When we hold fast to the need to be certain, we close all the rest of the doors of opportunity, exploration, adventure and surprise. While planning for life is necessary, being fixated by a specific outcome and doggedness about it makes life a very narrow experience.
The new year would come with its own challenges and victories. As I wrote earlier, what is in our hands is our attitude and our effort. I look forward to meeting you all in the new year as the best versions of yourself and I am deeply thankful for all my readers who make my journey worthwhile. I hope to do more and give more to the world making the journey worthwhile.
Meanwhile, you could be looking for some help in preparing yourself or your team to be goal and action oriented and looking at ‘getting motivated through action’ for the new year. Or you could be looking at equipping yourselves to lead a smarter life. In any case, do write to us at harish@harishrao.world to know how we can help you with your soft skill coaching needs. We would love to work with you on this or any other business coaching needs you may have in the new year!