Blog: Why is self-esteem important
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Wow! Isn’t that a powerful quote. That in a nutshell entirely reflects the personality and work of Eleanor Roosevelt who made this statement.
She was one of the biggest advocates for the necessity of self-esteem in life and how crucial it is in molding a person. It is self-esteem that influences people in taking the decisions and making the choices they make in their life. How is that you come to possess self-esteem and at the same time come across like one who possesses it. Over years and a lot of looking inside myself I have found some cardinal rules to become that person of commendable self- worth. I distill the wisdom for you here.
Stop pleasing people – There is no end to it if you take up this pointless endeavor. People who respect you and acknowledge you would continue doing it always. People who have no regard for you would not respect, like or acknowledge you however much your efforts.
Understand your strong points and your shortcomings – We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Knowing them would teach you to leverage your strengths and get better at things which you are not so good at. But above all it’s important to understand that it is perfectly fine for us to not be good at everything. That need not make us feel insufficient. World over the education systems has led us to focus on the shortcomings and hardly ever on our strengths. As adults it assumes importance to break that conditioning and feel good about all the many good things, we are than we are not.
Learning to say no – This is a concept I keep reiterating in most of my articles. As people grow in careers and power, it becomes increasingly difficult to say no to things. It could be tasks, visits, commitments, anything! A proper evaluation of your resources, time, mental space and bandwidth should be done before agreeing for anything. Agreeing to things and not being able to follow through or finish creates a bad impression and a dent in your self-esteem as well. Caution before commitment is crucial.
Be ruthless in weeding out bad relationships and people from your life – Focus on growing enriching positive relationships in your life. A need to be appreciated is one of the most basic of human needs. That can be expected from only genuinely good people. Others always try to bring you down, in spite of your best efforts to gain their approval. On a consistent basis you need to reconsider relationships in your life. You don’t need ‘yes men’ around you nor jealous people. What you need are people who are candid and at the same time sensitive enough to point out your flaws and encourage you in your endeavors and feel happy for your small and big victories. You should have honest friends around you who can call out when you slip up.
Examine what you think of yourself and find the reason for negative self-talk if any – Your gaze should be turned inward to uproot any toxic negativity or self-destructive behavior you may see growing. You should be your biggest advocate and you must at all times have a positive image of yourself steeped in grace. Dig deep into your reason for behaving or thinking in a particular way, introspect extensively.
Accept compliments and examine them as well to benefit from it – Compliments given to you must be accepted without trivializing them. You have to be proud of your achievements and realign your aspirations for higher things to be worthy of more successes and thereby more accolades.
Distinguish the person (you) from your behavior – Both are two entirely different entities. You as a person behave in a certain way. It could be good or bad. Then it is just your behavior that is good or bad. Not you. There is always a tendency for distortion in representation in this context. For example, for some reason you end up reaching late for many of your meetings. The behavior needs correction, and you should work on it as well. It does not help your growth to label yourself as a lazy slob or as an undisciplined person. The motivation to correct your behavior disappears when you label yourself. Without an understanding of the importance of self-analysis and enough self-care routines in your life you attitude would immediately become defeatist.
Take help in extreme cases of low esteem – There are always situations when you can’t fight the fight alone. Positive self-esteem cannot be developed with just reading self-esteem books. Your friends also might not be able to step up to help you improve your outlook and help build your self-esteem or increase in the level of self-esteem you have. Many people these days struggle to see the effect of positive body image manifest in their lives as well. In situations like this it helps to seek help from mental health professionals trained to work on your mind and guide you in the right direction.
As the new year approaches, it is always time to sit back and take stock of how you can improve yourself to face the challenges that the year is sure to bring. Improving behavioral skills is one of the practical ways to improve your confidence. If you are looking for some help in preparing yourself or your team through professional development programs, or you want to read through more self-improvement articles, do write to us at harish@harishrao.world to know how we can help you with it. We can also help you understand the importance of the power of positive self-talk and the importance of self-analysis. We would love to work with you on this or any other business coaching needs you may have!